my dependency

on plastic. And yours, too, I'm willing to bet.

On Saturday my debit card was cancelled ubeknownst to me (well, I found out when my card was declined twice the supermarket, and then couldn't get into my online banking site, yikes!) because I had used it recently at a store or ATM where there was some fraud. So, the company cancelled my card to protect my account, which is good. Though my walk home from the supermarket and 5 minutes on hold after finding out my banking access was denies as well was a little tense, I guess it's okay.

Except it turns out I don't have access to my money until they mail me a new on, in 3-5 days. No access. That's really weird, and it's lucky for me I have a few dollars in my wallet, but I did just put a huge credit on my Mastercard, and what if I wanted to make another big purchase? I could keep using my card (and would, since that's my option), but that makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm not totally in control of my finances.

Anyway, that was weird, but I do appreciate these protection measures. My credit card number was stolen a while back and used for over $500 worth of gas and stuff, and because it wasn't me I didn't have any hassles about it at all. The weird bit there was the last time I could remember using that card was in 2003 in Scotland to buy a plane ticket, and I still had the card with me, so someone got the number randomly, matched it with my infor, and remotely made of with some cash.

Anyway, it's a sad time when shredders are needed but sometimes it's worth the care.
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So lately I've been in contact with a few of my friends from Uni, and it turns out that they are doing really well, which is so nice to hear. It's made me do a bit more thinking though, about my own life and goings-ons. I find that I tend to get on wiht things and take some oportunities as they come up, but I don't hitnk I stop and really think about where I want to be heading, and what I want right now and what's possible. I feel like I get complacent too quickly, and accept things as inevitable, when they are not. What do I really want from my life? More importantly, what do I really want from my life right now? I'm not sure and I think that's part of what's behind my scrambled approach to my days these past months.

I guess I'm starting to engage the idea of abandoning convention for a little while. Maybe make a point of having a healthy lifestyle at the expense of a luxury lifestyle, or conventional lifestyle. But then, there's the practicals too...I still want to eat! Every day, at that. I think life has a way of being complicated and simple. Like, life is simple, until I find ways to complicate them.

Maybe I should consider meditation, or some kind of deep thought. In my brain it feels like taking a break from the spinning world and reconsidering myself, so when I get back on the world, at least that much is clear.
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