Today while walking with my sister down town, I noticed a sign for a place to eat that read: 5 ***** Shawarma. Don't they realize that their restaurant name is Five Star Star Star Star Star Shawarma? It's inherently redundant. The five stars alone would indicate the "Five Star" title, but since they felt the need to spell out the Five and add the stars, you can't help but assume they mean for you to read it longhand. Or else it's Five Five Star Shawarma. Totally redundant. How you do let that go? It's like having 'Battleship' brand battleships, so when you're filling an order you have to be "uh, yes? I'd like one 450-tonne Battleship battleship, and 2 389-tonne Battleship battleships. Do you deliver?'. You sound like an idiot! Who would want to put you through that? Other than the Five Five star Shawarma. Or should I call it the Twenty-five star shawarma?
well, obviously I'm the only one who 'goes through that', but still. It's the principle.
Anyways, one day I'll write my essay on my thoughts on misspelled signage, but I'm saving it. It'll require forethought because it happens to be one of the subjects I have a true passion for. A passionate rage. I think it kind of startles some of my friends, because if they don't already know, then they tend to be a little taken aback by the intensity of my feelings on thte topic. Probably if you know me you've experienced at least some level of this.
I just got a call from someone doing the 'someone from your number called me earlier, who are you?" call. And I was like, I wasn't even here, who are YOU? P.S., if someone calls you and then chooses not to leave a message, it's because they HAVE NO MESSAGE for you. So when you call them back and say, essentially, "my magical creepy third eye phone has told me you called and thought better of leaving a message, could you please awkwardly find a way to explain why you didn't leave me a message?". My inside answer is
NO! That's why I didn't leave a message! I'm pretty sure the logic follows, but that's just how I feel. My outside answer is something like" uh, well I was just thinking about Thursday, and I meant to ask you a question about it, but then I realized you already told me the answer, haha, sorry to bug you! ha ha. ughhhh". booooooo! or"it was a wrong number, thanks for calling back to make me apologise. I'm sorry. Okay? Do you feel better? Because those were 35 seconds I'm going to want back at the end of my life.
Today I was made aware of a habit I have developed that, according to close sources, I have been unknowingly perfecting for about 1.5 years now. I know I do it now (by the way, it's making a crisp, 'thok' sound using my tongue and the roof of my mouth), and I can't stop noticing everytime I do it. I had no idea it's been going on for so long. Why didn't anybody say? Anyways, apparently I pepper my conversations with little pops and thoks. I can only do it well when I'm not thinking about it, so I'm trying to get it under control. It's a process, deprogramming.
Lastly, 5 things many of you may not know about me, that I imagine few would need to know/care about:
1. I am secretly delighted when the cat has dreams that make him quiver and shake like he's on a washing machine, and I am practising lightly touching his tail to make him do it more without waking him. Naturally I assume his dreams are him hunting and catching something delicious and full of organs. Like a church.
2. I desperately miss the footie pajamas that had the slippers with grippers built in. I have had a mock pair since forever and I wear them once a year over Christmas Eve night.
3. My boyfriend has suggested that I include how when I yawn, my throat makes a gasping, growly sound from escaping air that I can't control. I thought it was like that for everyone, but I'm informed that it's not so.
4. I usually tear up a bit when everybody does their civic duty and pulls over for emergency vehicles and everything goes smoothly. I'm a big suck and I know it, okay?
5. I love filing.
There you go. Are you still here? Wow.
More on nothing later. byeeee!
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