Taking charge

Over the years I've become pretty sedentary. Which is the exact opposite of my interests and lifestyle as a carefree teen. I went off the rails in first year undergrad because school was way too hard for me suddenly and I was spending all my time in class, in lab , or trying to understand calculus and physics (didn't happen). I was in the co-op program so I couldn't join any sports teams and I didn't know how to do individual exercise of any kind, I'd only ever been on teams. So I gained the freshmen 25 (ahem) and carried on.

Fast forward about ten years on and I've taken stabs at running (hah! failed), walking stairs, cycle commuting, cross country skiing and snowshoeing. I do some of these things some of the time but have found that I do none of these things all of the time.

Now, I've been in Whitehorse for 2.5 years and typically that would be the time that I would move again, find a new job, finish school, whatever. But we're not going anywhere at the moment and I've been feeling restless. Planning travel (never a bad thing anyway) but also starting to feel really disappointed in myself for how little I'm taking advantage of my surroundings. I'm in one of the most beautiful and accessible wildernesses of Canada and I even know very active people. And I realized how much I was complaining to Rob and others and myself about how I miss being strong, and I miss being independently active and growing outside the way I know I love to do. So I made the decision to be in charge of my own happiness and make some important changes in my life.

I started by dusting off my bike and cycling to work every day. Every day, rain or shine, tired or late. Some days it was all those things! On my way home I have some altitude to gain, some of which is achieved by pushing my bike up 222 stairs. Every day I'd get home sweaty and out of breath and my gums would hurt (that happen to anyone else?) and I'd feel triumphant.
The bike commuting was great but I think my feeling came from knowing that this feels a little different. I'm not charting days, or making goals about numbers of anything. I'm just doing what I know I will feel good about.

Then, I decided to purposefully cultivate friendships with active acquaintances, people I should be better friends with anyways. Interesting, supportive, outdoorsy folks who will share their experience with me and help me integrate back into the lifestyle I let slip but never forgot.

And it hasn't stopped there. I had plans to go to a local community to play a softball tournament, but my acquaintance who recruited me bailed the day we were supposed to leave. My car was packed up and we were supposed to leave after work. So instead I drive to a campground 30 minutes out of town on Lake Laberge (a widening of the Yukon River) and pitched my tent and lit a fire with kindling I chopped with my own hatchet and had a beautiful sleep by the water. Just me. It was peaceful.

Saturday morning I came home, picked up a friend and we went to a local mushrooms hike. Then on Sunday Rob took his new kayak out to a local lake (10 minutes away) and I tried my hand at mountain biking the loop trail around the lake. I loved it. We did our usual 18 holes of disc golf then headed home.

I still got all my usual stuff done, except sitting watching tv and eating out of boredom. I feel good. I'm taking care of the part of me that I haven't been looking after, even though I would consider it a central part of myself. So this morning I feel pleasantly stiff in my arms and legs because I used them well.

I have plans to continue cycling and mountain biking, and maybe getting some local hikes in too before the snow flies, then it's cross country skiing and snowshoeing and maybe volunteering for the dog races again.

I'm not there yet but I'm starting to feel stronger, every day. And I'm making better decisions every day and choosing to say yes. I have put YES out into the universe and now it's up to me to take advantage of my many opportunities to live well up here and live the life I value so much.

I remember seeing a house in Waterloo in the winter that had 4 sets of snowshoes set up outside, two big pairs and two little pairs and I remember the feeling in my chest of wanting that life. The pang of wondering if we'd be like that. Now I think about that scene and I remind myself that the possibility is there if you start now and show your priorities.

So that's what I'm thinking about these days and working on.

And I've noticed that it doesn't take more time. You just spend less time on stuff that isn't as important and you never know it's gone. So.


Onward.